Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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