between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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