Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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