Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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