i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize