I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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