there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
