i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
