Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
