I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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