he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
