my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
