Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
