yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
