I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
