Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
