I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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