I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
