What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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