Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
