During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
