So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
