You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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