I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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