did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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