Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
smell my finger.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
