I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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