He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
