I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
did i just pee glitter
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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