Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
