Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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