i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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