so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize