so explain again why im purple
no
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
