did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
my poor anus
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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