Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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