so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
