What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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