How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
