i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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