mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
