Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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