I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
