his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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