no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
