first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
