the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
