i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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