Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
