I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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