the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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