Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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