i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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