Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
