i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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