if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
