if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
