You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Man, jail baloney is awful.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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