just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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