what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
