But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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